| — | Lady Gaga (via fuckyeahladygaga) |
oh to be… whatever. whatever her name is. i love her. she’s 180 degrees far away from me, and that breaks my ‘heart’, but there it is.
she exists.
she is out there.
i’m not alone. in how i feel. my body wracks with the same pleasure hers does. for the same reasons.
fuck. ing. EH.
You know how you have your clearest thoughts in the bathroom? When you’re furthest from a pen and paper, or your computer?
And it has nothing, or everything, to do with what I was doing in there.
My question(S!):
Do you ever have a moment of SUPER clarity right after an orgasm?
Or are you so blinded by whatever endorphins & such are coursing through your body, that instead of clarity, it’s delusion?
(Is this why people cry after sex?)
Can you be
Am I even a bisexual?
Like
I love my husband, really sincerely do. I love my family. I love my life. I don’t want it to change. But when it comes to sexuality, and uhh turn-ons or whatever, I’m almost exclusively lesbian. Not that I don’t ever get off from my man, or from thoughts of men, but usually - 90-95% of the time - it’s the thoughts of women that drive me over the edge.
I’ve wondered, before, is this merely narcissistic? Am I really just attracted to MYSELF? haha. But honestly, if I’m being in-that-climax-moment-honest… No. Chicks turn me on. I want to do all sorts of nasty things with a woman.
I came across a tumblr site tonight, and it could have been written by ME. And of course it’s anonymous, so she (assuming she is really a woman - not anything against trans, that’s another story he he he)… I asked her, WHERE ARE YOU? When really my question is WHERE ARE THE WOMEN LIKE YOU?
Why can’t I find one (or some, hehe)?
Or even
HOW can I find some? I’ve … not looked terribly hard, honestly. Mostly I’ve been too paranoid of coming off as a creep. But you know, something, something little, even, changed in me when I read Scott Pilgrim (or, at least, around that time - combining with other factors). Just GO for it. Don’t be so withdrawn, unsure of yourself, don’t assume the worst.
Because it’s not like I haven’t been in a … small … handful of situations where I could have been bold, taken action, and …
I MEAN HONESTLY
Is PERCEIVED, HESITATION-CAUSED REJECTION (SELF!!!!REJECTION!!!!!!!!!!) ANY BETTER THAN ACTUAL OUTRIGHT REJECTION?????????????????????????????????????
What would happen to me if I came onto a woman in an “appropriate” setting, and she rejected me? WOULD I KILL MYSELF?
I think (hope) not.
And the results could be amazing.
So………. what now?
fuckyeah!
i am, for reelz, super glad and relieved (TWSS)(?) tumblr exists and that i exist on (in?) it.
it’s been fart-oo long!
message of the day: I am not going to apologize for what’s in me.
